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TORRENT DETAILS
Van Helsing (2004) QuipTracks Triple Audio 720p 10bit BluRay X265-budgetbits
TORRENT SUMMARY
Van Helsing
Status:
All the torrents in this section have been verified by our verification system
Theatrical Release: 2016-09-23 Torrent Release: 07-11-2020 by user
Swarm:
0 Seeds & 0 Peers
Movie Genre:
Action, Drama, Fantasy, Horror
Runtime:
60 min.
Parental Rating:
[14+]TV-14 - Parents Strongly Cautioned
This program contains some material that parents would find unsuitable for children under 14 years of age. Parents are strongly urged to exercise greater care in montiroing this program and are cautioned against letting children under the age of 14 watch unattended.
Awards:
13 wins & 36 nominations.
Vote:
No votes yet.
DESCRIPTION
Vanessa Helsing, distant relative of famous vampire hunter Abraham Van Helsing, is resurrected only to find that vampires have taken over the world.
Sinopsis by IMDBVan Helsing (2004) QuipTracks triple audio 720p.10bit.BluRay.x265-budgetbits
QuipTracks commentary audio track will play with the movie by default. Change the track in your video software if you want to hear the normal movie track or the official commentary track.
Links IMDB link
QuipTracks page
Alternate page at rifftrax.com
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QuipTracks Summary Universal’s least intellectual properties collide in a dogpile of blue-tinted cheese (not bleu cheese – this cheese should not be blue), and all your favorite classic* characters are here!
Dracula, in his quest to become a Dadula, is chewing all the scenery of Transylvania in hopes of uncovering the reclusive Frankenstein’s Monster, because the secret to creating living offspring, it turns out, is electrocuting Frankenstein’s Monster, which is why he’s relevant to this story. It falls to the legendary monster hunter, Gabe “Never met a monster I didn’t maim” Van Helsing to break Dracula’s windows, appliances, neighbors until he stops trying to have kids. Doctor Jekyll, Mister Hyde, a Mad Hatter, and one or more Wolf Men also make appearances.
To help Mr. Helsing dispatch freaks with extreme stupidity, if not efficiency, he is equipped with a fully automatic crossbow, nitroglycerin, a toddling friar, and the most deadly Beyblades ever developed by the Vatican – which is more of an endorsement than it sounds. Now, pair that deadly arsenal with Van Helsing’s verbal arsenal of wry remarks which push the boundaries of “that’s gotta hurt” humor, and you’ve got those things being used by him for over two hours.
*Not a competitive claim Featuring: Tristan, Tracy, Kevin
QuipTracks Alternate Summary The year is allegedly 1888. The Vatican's army of Buddhists, Muslims, and toddling friars with hat hair work tirelessly to arm the great monster hunter Wolverine with the most ridiculous and inane weapons known to man, so that he might fail to hit large targets with the utmost speed and accuracy, picking up baronesses in tight corsets along the way. You'll gasp as Dracula chews more scenery than you could fit in Wyoming. You'll scream as the Frankenstein Monster relays life lessons about tolerance and acceptance. You'll yawn and scratch you unmentionables as Kate Beckinsale expands her acting repertoire to include vampire *hunters* (she wouldn't want to be pigeonholed). And you'll snack as the movie becomes tedious and you wander into the kitchen for a sandwich.
But never fear! QuipTracks makes this otherwise painful sack of crap into a sack of something awesome...like bacon or something.
Features the voices of: Tristan, Tracy and Kevin
Encoding info Encoded by budgetbits from BluRay remux (Van.Helsing.2004.1080p.BluRay.REMUX.AVC.DTS-HD.MA.5.1-hERMES.mkv) with HandBrake 1.3.3, slower preset, x265, 720p, 10 bit, crf 26, aq-mode 1, sao/strong-intra-smoothing/rect disabled.
